Change

Change is, I have recently discovered, one of the more formidable foes I have to face. To step beyond my comfort, beyond what I know, and what I am used to is really proving a challenge. Nevertheless, I stand at the door with my hand on the knob awaiting the courage of my heart/brain to tell my hand to turn and my foot to step through that door. It feels as though stepping through that door may be as detrimental as I am imagining, and the grass really will "always be greener on the other side." At the same time, I cannot stop looking at my feet, they don't match my heart (or what I imagine is my heart's desire), and are cemented in place, static.

I can look back on my life and reminisce on past decisions to leave one thing for another and find some comfort, but it makes the decision making process only slightly easier.

I want to look into myself, find what MY heart is, not what my heart "should" be. I'm tired of living in the "should".


God help us.